So, you don’t like the photo. But what about the bigger picture?

Hi guys,

It‘s been about 3 months since I last sat down to write in my free time. With starting a new job, sorting out the paperwork for our new house and getting used to lockdown easing, I’ve put writing on the back burner. But, I’ve been wanting to write about this topic for a while and now I think I’ve finally found the words to put down.

I bought some new jeans last week. Nothing special, just your average mom jeans. But what I realised was, when I put those jeans on, is that I felt the most confident that I’d felt since the lockdown lifted. I realised in that moment that actually, I’d been floating around my social events and meetings, more worried about my appearance than actually having a laugh, taking that photo or enjoying that long awaited cocktail. What came to me while putting on those jeans is that I’d been trying to wear clothes from last summer, or the summer before, to my plans. And what for? Because I didn’t want to size up and actually buy myself some nicer, more comfortable jeans in a slightly bigger size? In that mirror, I saw what I wanted to write about.

We have all been through a years worth of lockdowns, struggles, loneliness, boredom and quite frankly some tough times. Did any of us think we would sit through a worldwide pandemic in our lifetimes? No. OK, there are some people who have worked on themselves tirelessly to come out of this in the best shape that they’ve ever been in - and I have endless respect for them. But most of us, including me, have had moments where we are genuinely anxious about our appearance and being in social situations again. We’ve had days where we eat salad and work out and feel great, then days where we’ve sat down all day long and cried over the chocolate we wished we hadn’t eaten. Which let‘s be honest, is most of them. Isn’t it just exhausting? But when I sat down to write this, I realised lockdown isn’t to blame, it’s something that’s within us.

2021 is a time that is now obsessed with influencers, Instagram, Pinterest and gym-worshipping, so it’s hard to keep hold of what actually makes you an attractive person. I follow 2000 people on Instagram, probably about half of them are famous or paid for their posts. As I scroll through though, it’s not those people who I think ‘wow’ to. It’s the girl who’s sat with her friends, laughing her head off. It’s the photograph of a group of girls, of all shapes and sizes, drunk and dancing. It’s more than Instagram though, it’s the girls who walk into a room and light it up. The ones who instantly make you belly laugh - it’s your best friend, your sister, your Mum or even someone you barely know but wish you did. In that moment, are you looking at her jeans?

In a world that now promotes flawless skin, having a tiny waist and wrongly labelling ‘plus size‘ models - it’s so easy to get sucked in. I find myself questioning why I don’t go to the gym 5 times a week, drink 100 gallons of water a day and why I’m not the best version of myself 24/7. And what for? That’s not real. Real women eat too much at the weekend and find their clothes that little bit tighter on a Monday. Real women say ‘oh go on then’ to that glass of wine, knowing they were planning to “be good” all week. Real women laugh so hard their heads get thrown back and they spill their drink over the outfit they’ve spent hours choosing. Yes, I suppose those Insta-perfect women do look amazing... but do you know any of them?

What a shame it would be to worry about the photograph so much that you miss the bigger picture.

Take the photo girls. No one cares what size jeans you’re wearing when you have a smile that big.

Emma x